I've gotta do what's best for me
by Beth.M.H
Summary: nudge is in love with a certain blind boy, but runs away from the flock. dont be afraid to give me flames! It makes me a better writer!
1. I've gotta do what's best for me

This is my third fanfic, but my first one in the actual real flock's pov! So if I totally mess it up please tell me and here is my apology in advance. _**Sorry please don't kill me! hides under the desk and shouts "It's about Nudge!" while burrowing self under cords and scrap pieces of paper **_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the desk Im hiding under, oh wait yeah I do jumps up and down I own my snazzy new necklace!!_

_**(Max's pov) **_

Yes, we are back at my mom's place and yes somehow I was convinced –more like tricked- into letting us go back to school.

Not the evil mad scientists with too much free time kind.

That other kind.

We've only been here for a few weeks and already I'm worried about the flock. Ok not the whole flock, just Nudge. Hey, you would be to if you were here to hear what she had to say.

Let me give you a preview.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………."

As Gazzy said, "The Nudge channel has officially been **canceled**!"

You know what that means right?

Something is _really_ wrong.

_**(Nudge's pov)**_

I sighed and continued to stare at my ceiling as Iggy fixed my closet door. I know I know! But he's blind! Well I was really upset after school and I accidentally ripped the door off the hinges. Max and Fang had taken a trip to the store with Ella and Max's mom so I had to ask Iggy.

You probably already found out from Max, that I'm not my normal talkative self. It's because of this boy who thinks of me as oh I don't know, nothing but a friend, hence me being upset, the door pulled off of its hinges and now Iggy fixing it.

The only noise in the room was my radio and the sound of Iggy fixing my door.

"So what's wrong?" I blinked a few times and then turned my head to look at Iggy with out getting up from my comfy spot. He was facing me now and by the look on his face he was listening to my breathing.

I stayed quiet and tried to slow my breathing down, it didn't work.

"I know you're awake, so spill." I frowned and crossed my arms. "Talk to me Nudge!" he shouted a few moments later and threw the tool he had been using. It hit my lamp, causing it to break and me to jump.

"Go away." I whispered and rolled over so I was facing the wall.

"Not until you tell me why you've been acting weird for weeks, why you only mutter a few words at a time and why you sometimes lock yourself in here and cry yourself to sleep!"

I sat up and looked over at Iggy, studying his features carefully. What drew my attention were his milky blue eyes, which just happened to be staring right at me.

It was kind of weird having a blind person stare at me, but I shook my head to clear it and whispered the longest sentence I had said since we came to live with Max's family. "Why do you care? Im just the talkative little _sister_ you don't notice anymore."

With that I jumped from the bed and took a running jump out of my window, gracefully snapping my wings out and flying away.

Normally the rush of the wing on my face would make me as happy as a clam, but as the wind instantly dried my tears before they could slide even half way down my cheek I felt like the loneliest and saddest person on the face of the planet.

I pulled my jogging radio out of my pocket and slid the head phones into my ears as a new song started to play.

_**(3**__**rd**__** Person Pov)**_

_I gotta say what's on my mind._

_Something about us doesn't seem right these days._

Iggy frowned and tried to go after her, only one little problem stopped him. He couldn't see which way she went!

_Life keeps getting in the way._

_Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged._

Sadly he slumped down on her floor and placed his head in his hands as the radio next to him continued to play one of Nudge's favorite songs.

_It's hard to say, but I've gotta do what's the best for me._

_You'll be okay... _

Nudge blinked back tears as she flew away from the flock. She kept wondering if she should go back, but then remembers how they were always teasing her or telling her to stop talking.

_I've got to move on and be who I am._

_I just don't belong here; I hope you understand._

_We might find our place in this world someday,_

_But at least for now,_

_I gotta go my own way._

_Don't wanna leave it all behind,_

_but I get my hopes up and watch them all fall every time._

_Another color turns to grey,_

_And it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away._

_I'm leavin' today 'cause I've gotta do what's the best for me._

_You'll be okay..._

Nudge took a deep breath and started flying north. "I can do this, I don't need them." She whispered to herself as she doubled back, passing over top of the flock's home.

_I've got to move on and be who I am._

_I just don't belong here; I hope you understand._

_We might find our place in this world someday,_

_But at least for now,_

_I gotta go my own way._

_What about us?_

_What about everything we've been through?_

Slowly a tear slid down Iggy's face and in a fit of rage he picked up the hammer that was sitting next to him and chucked it at the wall, where it stayed as if a dart in a dart board. Memories flashing through his mind, Angel had been kind enough to send him mentally.

The flock at the beach, out flying, around the camp fire, and then his favorite; the look on Nudge's face when she went on her very first roller coaster. Fear and Excitement all rolled into one as Nudge screamed and through her hands into the air along with everyone else.

_What about trust?_

Then another memory angel had stolen from Max and given to him. He was back at the school in Vermont, and was walking with a girl.

_You know I never wanted to hurt you._

_And what about me?_

_What am I supposed to do?_

Nudge landed by the airport two towns over, and sucked her wings in before walking inside and up to the counter. "My mother reserved a ticket for me on a flight to Michigan." She quickly lied and watched at the girl behind the counter started searching her computer for any note of the reserved ticket.

_I gotta leave, but I'll miss you._

"Im sorry, but I have no-" Nudge brushed her fingers against the computer monitor and the girl stopped talking. "Oh, here it is." The girl looked slightly embarrassed but a moment later handed Nudge a plane ticket.

_I'll miss you._

Iggy stood up and ran his hand over his face to dry it, turning off the bed room light as he walked out and closed the door.

_I've got to move on and be who I am._

"Your flight will begin boarding in five minuets" Nudge nodded and went to sit down on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs.

_Why do you have to go?_

Iggy slowly walked down the hall way, blocking his mind from Angel as she skipped over to Ella's bed room with her teddy bear. Angel stopped and looked back at him, confused.

_I just don't belong here; I hope you understand._

"Hello, I'm Kelly." Nudge looked up to see a girl with long black hair smiling down at her. "I'm the flight attendant for your plane, the captain asked me you keep an eye on you until we board, you don't mind if I sit down do you?" nudge shook her head no and the girl sat, smiling.

_I'm trying to understand._

Just as Iggy walked into the kitchen, Max and Fang walked into the house their arms full of bags. "Nudge! I got you a present!!" Iggy frowned and looked in Max's direction. "She left."

_We might find our place in this world someday,_

_But at least for now,_

_I want you to stay._

Iggy heard max, but something finally clicked and ignoring her he ran out of the house and took of into the air. Max and Fang were right behind him with Gazzy and Angel who jumped out of the second story windows.

_I wanna go my own way._

_I've got to move on and be who I am._

"That's us." Kelly smiled and stood up, grabbing a hold of her small bag. Nudge also stood up and glanced around the airport before following Kelly over to where another flight attendant was checking tickets.

_What about us?_

The flock landed out side of the air port and ran inside, Angel showing Iggy mental images to guide him.

_I just don't belong here; I hope you understand._

Nudge and Kelly had just had their tickets approved and were starting to walk towards the plane when she heard her name being called. She stopped and Kelly, who had taken her hand did as well, both turning to look as Iggy lead the flock through the crowed of people.

"Friends of yours?" tears slid down nudges face as she shook her head no once more. "Can we just get on the plane?" Kelly nodded and continued to walk with Nudge.

_I'm trying to understand._

The Flock stood watching, tears in their eyes as Nudge walked away with a girl no of them knew. "Nudge!" Iggy called after her, but she ignored him.

_We might find our place in this world someday,_

_But at least for now,_

Nudge was placed in first class, and she sat staring out the window to where she could see the flock staring at her plane, tears in their eyes. "Stupid bird DNA" she mumbled as she put on her seat belt and pulled down the shade on her window.

_I gotta go my own way._

_I gotta go my own way._

_I gotta go my own way._


	2. Old Pain and New Hope

This story had gotten more alerts/ favorite story-authors/ reviews for just the first chapter so I have decided to continue the story

**This story had gotten more alerts and reviews for just the first chapter than any of my other stories so I have decided to write another chapter! **

**F.Y.I. the song in the last chapter was **_**Gotta Go My Own Way **_**from H**_**igh**_** S**_**chool**__**Musical**__**2**_

**-Star- -Star- -Star-**

Nudge slowly opened her eyes, rolling over in the process, an image of the flock flashing in her mind when she felt the rough sand underneath her finger tips and along her bare arms.

A memory from long ago, but it felt like it was happening right then and there. Fang and Max were playing a game of go fish with Angel and Gazzy, while Iggy sat staring in their general direction looking left out as a full plate rested on his lap. "Iggy?" her own voice echoed through her mind causing her to squeeze her eyes shut tightly.

Slowly Iggy turned to face her though he appeared to look right through her "huh?" He tilted his head to the side, some of his strawberry blond hair falling into his face and giving him that innocent puppy look that Total always tried to use on Max to no avail. A single tear slid down her face as her hand reached out automatically as if to take the plate he was offering to her, for a second she could have sworn that she could feel the smooth texture of the Styrofoam plate.

But another hand took the plate and she watched as she herself sat down next to Iggy, smiling brightly as she bit into a warm slice of bread. "Thank you" Iggy nodded and with a sigh rested his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes and ignoring the strange looks the flock were casting their way.

More and more tears streamed down her face until she turned her head away quickly, her curly brown hair hitting her own face as her shoulders shook and her tears fell into the sand.

"Go away…" she whispered and stood up, her hands clenched into fists in a desperate attempt to keep her shoulders from shaking from the force of her tears and bottled up emotions. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Her shouts echoed off the solid cave walls as she spun back around, her fist well aimed.

But her fist passed through the image and crashed into the stone wall before she had anytime to register what she was doing. And when it dawned on her, the tears came harder and faster. The room started to spin, her stomach started flipping, her face grew pale and suddenly she was throwing up into the sand.

"Ugh" Nudge slowly crawled out of the cave wiping off her mouth with the back of her hand as the blood began to return to her face. She could hear people off in the distance and readjusted her direction to lead her as far from other people as possible.

"Pull your self together, you're stronger than this. Who needs them?" she pushed her self up slowly and stumbled to the water's edge, her legs feeling like rubber. As the water ran over her shoes she glanced down and caught a brief glance at her own tear stained face. "Rrrr!" She angrily kicked the water catching some of the wet sand and small rocks on the top of her shoe and flinging them farther into the water.

With a sigh her wings snapped open and she jumped into the air, hovering a mere foot off the ground as she watched the water peacefully move across the sand, first trying to force its way onto the land then retreating silently just to try again with the same amount of determination as before.

It kind of made her want to smile, though she wasn't entirely sure why. With a deep breath she flew out over the lake. _New beginnings… _She thought pulling her wings in. A shriek filled the air as she plummeted downward to meet the cold water head on.

**-Star- -Star- -Star-**

Max sighed picking at her plate much to the dismay of her mother and sister who compared to the flock's slow manner had inhaled their food. Max was pushing a piece of pasta to the opposite side of her plate for the tenth time when Ella's hand shot out and snatched away her fork, sending the piece of pasta flying across the table where it landed on the floor.

Total frowned and looked up with a glare "Don't _even_ expect _me _to get that!" The flock smiled and burst out laughing at the disgusted look on his face, but returned to their somber mood when the door swung open and Jeb walked in, leading Iggy both looking somewhat confident.

"Anything?" Ella asked quickly, obviously missing the overly talkative friend she hadn't expected to disappear. Iggy fell into his chair with a thud while Jeb moved to the head of the table, setting a brief case down gently and quickly unlocking it before looking up with a slight smile.

"I know how to find Nudge…."

**-Star- -Star- -Star-**

Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn!! Ha-ha a cliffy! Third chapter coming soon, but first I want YOU to tall me what you think should happen!!


End file.
